1
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:08,675
Okay, now, you're all here
because you have been suspended

2
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,077
from work for sexual harassment.

3
00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:13,446
But through this seminar, you will learn

4
00:00:13,446 --> 00:00:15,382
the skills to keep you from
making the same kinds

5
00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:17,283
of mistakes that got you here.

6
00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:19,285
Excuse me, Mr. Winerslav?

7
00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:21,054
It's pronounced "Weener-Slave."

8
00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:23,990
Okay... Jeffrey, is there
anything I can do to speed

9
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:26,026
this process up so I can just get back to work?

10
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,494
I'm afraid not.

11
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,896
But someone who's in a rush to
get back to work?

12
00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:32,132
That's something
you don't see every day.

13
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:34,300
Now, that is an example

14
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:39,939
of a very appropriate and
very, very funny joke.

15
00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:46,880
Jenna, I need to speak with you.

16
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,648
Jack, I did not hit that Asian page.

17
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:51,584
I was just swinging my arm and
she walked into me. Twice.

18
00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:53,019
Jenna, it's not about that.

19
00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:55,722
It's about your Sheinhardt-
Universal Janis Joplin biopic.

20
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,824
Wait, we can call her Janis Joplin?

21
00:00:57,824 --> 00:01:00,894
We got the life rights?
It's not Janie Jimplin anymore?

22
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,396
Apparently, neither name cleared.

23
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,731
It looks like your character is
going to be called

24
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,266
Jackie Jormp - Jomp.

25
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:08,735
Oh, okay.
So what's the good news?

26
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,270
I didn't say there was any.

27
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:12,338
Sheinhardt-Universal did some
focus testing this week.

28
00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:14,307
We got 100?

29
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:15,642
You're holding that upside down.

30
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:16,676
Oh, no.

31
00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:18,144
Yes, I was afraid of this.

32
00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:20,647
It turns out not having the life
rights or any Janis Joplin songs

33
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,682
was a negative for audiences.

34
00:01:22,682 --> 00:01:25,185
But what about my duet with
Jimi Hendrickson at Woodstocks?

35
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:28,088


36
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,824


37
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,592
Uh, Jenna, Sheinhardt-Universal

38
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,160
does not want to release the picture.

39
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,962
And how will that affect my Oscar chances?

40
00:01:35,962 --> 00:01:37,597
Adversely...

41
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,766
unless we get
independent distribution.

42
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,601
To do that, "Sing Dem Blues, White Girl

43
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,470
"The Jackie Jormp- Jomp Story"
has got to get some buzz.

44
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,371
And I'm going to need your help for that.

45
00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:47,974
Do you need a sex tape released?
'Cause I got a weird one.

46
00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:49,342
It's night vision

47
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,977
and you can see thathis buddy is robbing me.

48
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:54,013
No. Jenna, I want you on the P.R. warpath.

49
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:55,648
If there's a red carpet, I want
you on it, talking up the movie

50
00:01:55,648 --> 00:01:57,650
starting Monday.

51
00:01:57,650 --> 00:01:59,385
The Kids' Choice Awards? Fine.

52
00:01:59,385 --> 00:02:02,355
I'll set aside my feud with
Raven Symon� for one day.

53
00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:04,084
But she knows what she did.

54
00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:29,582
Miss Lemon...

55
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:30,817
You aren't supposed to be here.

56
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,586
You're on s-e-x probation.

57
00:02:33,586 --> 00:02:37,078
Yeah, I know. I just wanted
to stop by and check in.

58
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,092
Kenneth, stop.

59
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:40,660
I just want a script...

60
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,854
or a run-down, okay?

61
00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:45,932
Put that down.
You give that to me, Kenneth.

62
00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,200
Did you hear what I said?

63
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:52,672
Mr. Donaghy, help!
Rule-breaking!

64
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,663
This is sad. Lemon, come with me.

65
00:02:57,610 --> 00:02:59,245
Lemon, you know, you're
supposed to go home

66
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:00,780
after your pervert seminars.

67
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:04,050
I'm going, I just
hate not being here.

68
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:06,586
You have to rehearse!

69
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,188
No! Passive resistance!

70
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:11,457
I learned that from Dr. King! I'm brave!

71
00:03:11,457 --> 00:03:12,725
You sure you miss this?

72
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:15,028
Yes. As crazy and
stressful as this place is

73
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,063
not being here is worse.

74
00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:18,631
I feel for you.

75
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:21,034
Remember that time I came back
from the World Economic Forum

76
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,702
with mono and missed a week
of work and I wanted

77
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,204
to pull my hair out but I
couldn't because it's too thick?

78
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,939
People like us, we need the stress.

79
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:29,142
We're only happy when
we're overcoming obstacles.

80
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,044
You take that away, we start
bouncing off the walls

81
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,245
spend our days jabbering at doormen.

82
00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:35,408
Hey, I brighten their day.

83
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,952
Before I go, can I at least find
out what Frank's hat says?

84
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,253
"Constant Craving."

85
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:41,688
He can do better!

86
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,490
Has anyone looked at this sexual
harassment stuff they gave us?

87
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:45,725
I don't need to read it.

88
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,327
The whole thing is loosely
based on an evening

89
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:50,129
I spent with Isaiah Thomas.

90
00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:52,131
No wonder Liz got busted.

91
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:53,800
According to this, you can't
do anything without it

92
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,268
being considered harassment.

93
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:59,239
Did you know you have to report
in-office relationships?

94
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,640
Is that true?

95
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,609
It's the first thing listed.
Have you read this?

96
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:04,143
Well, I wanted to

97
00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:06,746
because it's full of rules, but
Ms. Vieira made me throw it away

98
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,781
and said pretty boys like me shouldn't be

99
00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:10,550
filling their heads with ideas.

100
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:11,618
Uh-oh.

101
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:12,752
Hi, Frank.

102
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,243
Hello... co-worker.

103
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,260
Ah, Ms. Vieira...

104
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,061
Of course my job is annoying

105
00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:23,696
but that doesn't mean I don't love it.

106
00:04:23,696 --> 00:04:25,732
I'm sure your job
can be annoying.

107
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,967
Not all the tenants
are as fun as me.

108
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,302
I get it.

109
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:32,805
Hey, would you mind if I
brought a chair down here?

110
00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:34,974
Yes, my job is stressful,
very stressful.

111
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:38,244
But in the end, I get paid
to make people laugh.

112
00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:41,681
We have a saying that
laughter is the best medicine.

113
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:44,250
So, I'm kind of like a doctor here

114
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,686
Iike you were in Poland.

115
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:49,489
We have a show tonight.
I've never missed a show

116
00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,791
Not even the time I had that
virus they kept saying

117
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,393
only raccoons get.

118
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,554
I can't believe I'm not there.

119
00:04:57,430 --> 00:05:00,466
Hey! I... I've picked up
some Polish from you guys.

120
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,138
It's kind of cold out for a jog.

121
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,340
Oh, I'm just going downstairs
to the fitness center.

122
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,008
What? This building has a gym?

123
00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:11,644
Yeah, it's the door right next
to the vending machines.

124
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,379
Vending machines? What kind?

125
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:14,505
I don't know, sorry.

126
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:18,217
I'm Emily. Are you new to the building?

127
00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:21,688
No, I'm Liz. I've lived here for four years.

128
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:23,690
I usually work crazy, long hours.

129
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:26,893
But I'm on leave right now
for... normal reasons.

130
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,361
And you're feeling a little lost.

131
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:29,629
I am.

132
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:31,831
Right now, I should be standing
in a toilet stall

133
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,733
so nobody bothers me while I eat lunch.

134
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:36,269
God, I miss it!

135
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,171
I was an investment banker for 15 years--

136
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,238
80-hour work weeks,

137
00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:40,773
corner office,

138
00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:42,208
secret candy drawer.

139
00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:44,610
And a decoy candy drawer to
throw others off the trail?

140
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:45,634
Smart.

141
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,349
The point, is you get addicted to the stress,

142
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,717
think it gives your life purpose.

143
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:52,051
And then, when you stop...

144
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:53,419
For normal reasons...

145
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,722
You see how stupid you were.

146
00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:58,124
It just takes time to realize

147
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:02,628
there are much better ways to be happy.

148
00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:05,495
Wait for me... Iady.

149
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:09,135
Kenneth, what can I do for you?

150
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:10,970
Well, sir, I recently learned
that company policy requires

151
00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,772
that employees disclose

152
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,574
their relationships with their coworkers

153
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,542
to their immediate supervisor.

154
00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:18,811
I am not your immediate supervisor.

155
00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:21,914
There are perhaps 40 people between us.

156
00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:23,783
Uh, Pete, for instance.

157
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:26,319
Oh, I just don't trust Mr. Hornberger, sir.

158
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,055
He has a ridge on the section of the skull

159
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,390
associated with deviousness.

160
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,059
Okay... so there's a girl?

161
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,894
Yes, sir. Her name is Daphne.

162
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:37,055
She's one of the T.G.S. dancers.

163
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,666
And when I watch her dance,
my heart skips a beat.

164
00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:43,169
And not because of my acute "ventralitis."

165
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:48,674
Wait, you're dating one of the dancers?

166
00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:51,878
Oh, no, sir. I actually haven't
spoken to her yet.

167
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:53,746
But I have a long-term plan to marry her

168
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:56,449
and I wanted the company to be
aware of my intentions.

169
00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:59,685
I see. I'll be sure to mention
that at the next board meeting.

170
00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:01,387
Thank you, sir.

171
00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:04,290
Oh, also, I don't know
if this is harassment

172
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:06,058
but someone at the Today
Show made me eat

173
00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:09,494
an unripe banana in front of her.

174
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:14,367
Hey, Ken.

175
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:15,925
Do you know who our immediate supervisor is?

176
00:07:19,972 --> 00:07:21,007
I will not be able

177
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,843
to attend your wedding...

178
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:25,868
because of a prior conflict.

179
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:34,153
Oh, what's the special occasion?

180
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:35,620
Weekday?

181
00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:38,724
Wow, so this is normal? This is, like

182
00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:41,027
your version of sweatpants
and Pop-Tarts?

183
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,128
Not too shabs.

184
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,363
Short for shabby? Hilarious.

185
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,133
This could be your life too, Liz

186
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,401
just short the housing market.

187
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,596
Or write a cookbook specifically
for mixed-race children.

188
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:52,805
Or marry a rich, old dude who dies.

189
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,670
Clive, I want to say?

190
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:58,344
Or have mild Lupus and great insurance.

191
00:07:58,344 --> 00:08:00,213
So here is the plan for today.

192
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,380
Start with facials and massages...

193
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,548
Yes, please.

194
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:03,983
...private shopping at Bergdorf

195
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:05,518
swing by the dermatologist
for a tune-up...

196
00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:08,221
dinner at Jewel Bako

197
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,922
then a nightcap back here.

198
00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:11,657
Oh...

199
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,192
Wow, that is a plan.

200
00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:14,527
But, uh, I don't think I should go.

201
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,929
Liz is still stressed about her old job.

202
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:18,021
Oh...

203
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,101
It's just... it's Friday, and at
my job, that is our biggest day.

204
00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:23,970
I don't think I'd be good company.

205
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:27,139
But thank you for inviting me.
I'll have one drink here.

206
00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:29,041
Have two.

207
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:31,344
Mmm... but then, I really should go home

208
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,112
'cause I'm still in work mode.

209
00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:36,148
I'm not really in spa, shopping mode.

210
00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:38,985
I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself.

211
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:41,721
And I don't want to crash
your day together and ruin it.

212
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,389
We're always together.

213
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:44,690
Thank you.

214
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:46,125
Cocktails!

215
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:48,027
Mmm. It's just so stressful
thinking about my employees

216
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:50,229
trying to do everything without me.

217
00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:51,597
Those look great on you!

218
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,833
Then I'm buying them!

219
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:56,002
I guess I'm just one of
those people that needs work.

220
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:58,137
You know, I thrive there...

221
00:08:58,137 --> 00:09:00,206
And it's gone? Just like that?

222
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,641
Just like that!

223
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,309
Thank you, Dr. Binderman.

224
00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:04,644
Isn't he amazing?

225
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:06,712
My point is, you are so sweet to include me.

226
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:11,217
Believe me... I'm jealous,
but today is just not the day.

227
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,786
So, you know... I'll hang out with you guys

228
00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:16,556
for a little bit and
I'll have my one drink and...

229
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,090
what time is it?

230
00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:19,325
Almost midnight.

231
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,661
If we're going to get up
in time for our mani-pedis

232
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:22,828
we really should turn in.

233
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,759
I forgot to watch my show.

234
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:34,941
I'm prepared to do a nipple slip if you need it.

235
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:37,076
Just talk about the movie.

236
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,811
Hi, I'm Ethan from Nick
Magazine. Whose mom are you?

237
00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:41,013
Thank you. Well, tonight's about fun.

238
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:42,748
I'm wearing Taylor Dayne for Express.

239
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,550
And my peace sign, of course, is a nod

240
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:45,785
to Janis Joplin...

241
00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:47,019
Dora the Explorer's Backpack!

242
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:48,543
Backpack! Is Map in you tonight?

243
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,561
Here are your lunches, gentlemen.

244
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:57,961
Dotcom, I forgot to
get you extra mustard.

245
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:04,170
All right! Enough!

246
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,938
This fighting stops now!

247
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:09,809
I'm sorry. Mr. Slattery hurt me.
And now, I'm hurting him.

248
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,544
He'll never get mustard...

249
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:14,347
except for the mustard that
comes with the sandwich.

250
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:17,316
I said I was sorry, Ken.
I didn't even mean to hurt you.

251
00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:20,019
Oh, really? I love you too, Dotcom.

252
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:21,087
I didn't say...

253
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:23,289
I knew this would happen someday...

254
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,391
a woman would come between us.

255
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:26,792
Well, I'm not standing by.

256
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,394
I am taking action.

257
00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:30,529
Oh, sir, before Miss Lemon left,
I promised her

258
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:32,665
I wouldn't let you start any adventures.

259
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:35,067
Yeah, well, Liz Lemon's in jail now

260
00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:36,669
and somebody has to step up

261
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,967
and take charge around here.

262
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:44,377
Let the problem-solving begin.

263
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:48,481
Are you Daphne?
Yeah, you're fired.

264
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,383
First, a backpack upstages me.

265
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,585
Then, the paparazzi kept
calling me Dina Lohan.

266
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:53,919
And now, the Cyrus family
has decided to rock

267
00:10:53,919 --> 00:10:55,488
a bunch of funky hats.

268
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,522
You can't give up now.

269
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:58,524
Did Jackie Jormp- Jomp give up

270
00:10:58,524 --> 00:11:00,226
when those vampires
attacked Woodstocks?

271
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,560
No one even knows I'm here.

272
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:04,697
From Dreamworks'
upcoming feature film

273
00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:07,900
On Top of Spaghetti, Helen Mirren.

274
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,735
Good evening.

275
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:12,405
And now, we take a moment...

276
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:20,413
You got me.

277
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,848
And now, we take a moment
to remember those

278
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,617
we lost this year

279
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:27,319
in the Kid Entertainment Industry.

280
00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:41,901
Was that me?
Did they just say I'm dead?

281
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:43,602
I thought you spoke to the producers.

282
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:45,171
Look, Connor, if we
don't get some traction

283
00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:46,806
Jenna Maroney's picture's dead.

284
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:48,407
We need your help.

285
00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:50,276
Maroney, picture, dead. Got it.

286
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,712
This is a disaster.

287
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,840
No, no.
We hit the jackpot.

288
00:12:01,954 --> 00:12:03,756
You being dead is the best thing

289
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,257
that ever happened
to this movie. Jenna...

290
00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:06,959
I want to Tupac you.

291
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:08,561
Fine, but I have to pee first.

292
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,896
No. No, no, no, no, no,
Tupac Shakur, the rapper.

293
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,598
He sold 10 times more albums

294
00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:13,933
when he was dead than
when he was alive.

295
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,601
That's what we're going
to do with this movie.

296
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:16,736
Die young, become a legend

297
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,637
just like Janis.

298
00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:20,673
Or Rusty the Bear from The Magicals.

299
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,334
Yes.

300
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:24,777
Now, you just need to stay dead

301
00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:26,112
while I sell the movie.

302
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,980
Oh, I can play dead.

303
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:30,608
I watched my whole church group
get eaten by a bear.

304
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,791
Congratulations, Miss Lemon.

305
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:41,494
You've completed your sensitivity training.

306
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:45,631
Your suspension is up,
and here is your certificate.

307
00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:48,601
Wow. So I can...
go back to work tomorrow?

308
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,269
That's... soon.

309
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:53,973
Well, I know how eager you are
to return to work.

310
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:55,508
I guess so.

311
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,443
But coming back to work
isn't always easy.

312
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,445
Work means stress.

313
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,847
And stress can make you fall back

314
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,582
on old behavior.

315
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:05,551
So tonight, I want you to really think about

316
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:07,052
that first day back.

317
00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:10,456
Visualize everything that's facing you.

318
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,792
Think about walking through
that door and immediately

319
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,795
dealing with 100 different
problems and responsibilities.

320
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:20,332
Your coworkers' demands
on you, the long hours

321
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:23,636
the pointless meetings
and endless phone calls...

322
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,971
think of the frustration, the futility

323
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,607
and the time that
you will never get back

324
00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:31,235
as you creep closer and closer to the grave.

325
00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:36,148
Okay! Any questions for me?

326
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:38,918
why don't you drop those Dockers

327
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:40,977
and give me a piece of that sweet ass?

328
00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:44,123
What are we doing today, ladies?

329
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:45,324
More of the same!

330
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:52,464
Cello?

331
00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:54,600
Lemon, what the hell happened at
your reinstatement hearing?

332
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,602
Jeffrey "Weener-Slave" said you
put your fingers in his mouth.

333
00:13:56,602 --> 00:14:00,072
Did I? Or did he put
his mouth on my fingers?

334
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:02,208
It's going to take at least
six weeks paid leave

335
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,676
to get to the bottom of this.

336
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,178
I am very busy right now faking
Jenna's death to sell her movie.

337
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,614
I'm not going to engage on that... mantra.

338
00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:09,715
But I am calling H.R. and getting you back

339
00:14:09,715 --> 00:14:10,816
for the next show.

340
00:14:10,816 --> 00:14:12,985
No! I just, I need a little more time off.

341
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,653
I'm on humanity leave.

342
00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:17,289
Good God. What Indigo Girls
song is that from?

343
00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:20,559
"Syllabus of Us" off
Vagabonds, Martyrs and Quilts.

344
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,461
The point is, I have met the most amazing

345
00:14:22,461 --> 00:14:25,164
group of women, Jack. They just live.

346
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:27,633
And they spin every morning
and they go to museums...

347
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:30,803
Lemon, you are not a rich divorce'.

348
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:34,573
I know, but I have some money
saved, enough for two years...

349
00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:36,575
maybe four if I give up cable.

350
00:14:36,575 --> 00:14:39,211
So, I will come back to the show in four years.

351
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:42,381
You're fooling yourself. You
know you can't live like that.

352
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,617
Yes, I can. Emily and her friends are happy.

353
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,385
Believe me,
there is no solace in their luxury

354
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:47,620
only deep despair.

355
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,755
How do you know all these Indigo Girls songs?

356
00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:53,926
Listen, you are
wrong about Emily. Oh, God!

357
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,394
There's a spider nest
in my yoga mat!

358
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:56,929
Mr. Jordan.

359
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:58,597
Mr. Jordan,
what did you do?

360
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,099
You fired Daphne?

361
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:02,534
I had to. Friendship
and trust in the entourage

362
00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:04,236
is the most important thing...

363
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,938
Iike that HBO show

364
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:08,540
John Adams.

365
00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:11,043
Well, me and Dotcom are
back to being best friends.

366
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:12,544
We were never...

367
00:15:12,544 --> 00:15:13,679
But the other dancers
are refusing to come

368
00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:15,347
to work out of solidarity with Daphne.

369
00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:18,250
Hmm. Usually, this is
the point in my process

370
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,185
when Liz Lemon steps in and
takes care of everything.

371
00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:24,456
Heavy is the head that eats the crayons.

372
00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:28,928
Gonna take a nap. See you in 10 hours.

373
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,597
Kenneth, have any of the dancers
come in yet today?

374
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:32,898
Uh...

375
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,567
Pete, a word?

376
00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:36,735
Jenna's dead.

377
00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:39,772
I don't feel anything.
What's wrong with me?

378
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,774
No, no, it's a marketing ploy

379
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,309
for her new movie.

380
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:45,644
But it means you won't have her
for the show on Friday.

381
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:48,781
And you need to put together
some sort of... on-air tribute.

382
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,583
We actually already have
an obituary reel for Jenna.

383
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:53,652
We put it together after
she cheated on that mobster.

384
00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:55,988
That's good.

385
00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:59,825
Eating right, working out,
sleeping, and, boy...

386
00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:02,294
is anybody else B-Ming like a rock star?

387
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,662
Mm-hmm.

388
00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:04,897
All right, all right.

389
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:06,665
What's the hump day
schedule look like?

390
00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:09,259
Oh, it's not Wednesday, Liz.
It's Thursday.

391
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,072
I read somewhere it's Tuesday.

392
00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:14,573
Oh.

393
00:16:14,573 --> 00:16:16,141
Mr. Jordan, it's Friday.

394
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,876
We really need to tell Mr. Hornberger

395
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:19,178
that the dancers quit.

396
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:21,169
No, we don't. He's not even
gonna notice they're gone.

397
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,016
Oh, my.

398
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:25,351
These are the new dancers, Ken.

399
00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:26,652
Say hi to Velvet.

400
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,846
Hello, Miss Velvet.

401
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:30,756
Just think, an hour ago

402
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:33,359
they were brawling in a
parking lot. But tonight...

403
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:35,725
they're gonna be stars.
Show Ken here what we worked on.

404
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:42,434
Oh, boy.

405
00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:46,038
Boy, I am really
starting to feel the benefits

406
00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:48,474
of massages and yoga five days a week.

407
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:50,635
Check this out.

408
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,148
Look at you!

409
00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:59,451
Last week, you were flipping
out about missing work.

410
00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:02,021
Ah, no, that's old Liz.

411
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,089
My boss kept trying to tell me

412
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,858
that I would go crazy
living a life of leisure,

413
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,526
that it's unhealthy.

414
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:08,994
Well, he's actually right.

415
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,062
No. No, no...

416
00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:11,051
He's not, Emily.

417
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,665
No, I used to be a neurosurgeon
before Jasmine Guy and I

418
00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:15,901
wrote our cookbook.

419
00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:19,071
And the human brain needs
stimulation or it atrophies

420
00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:21,173
and your pleasure
center literally shrinks.

421
00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:23,642
That's why we do our...

422
00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:25,044
special activity

423
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,812
to combat that.

424
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,147
What, like Sudoku?

425
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,417
Uh, we did a games night

426
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:33,252
for a couple of weeks...
didn't last.

427
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:34,553
So charity work?

428
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:37,990
No. Charity work sucks.

429
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,358
Should we tell her?

430
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:40,392
Erin, it's too soon.

431
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,327
Punch me in the face, Liz.

432
00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:43,362
I'm sorry, what?

433
00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:45,697
You heard me.

434
00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:46,698
Punch me as hard as you can

435
00:17:46,698 --> 00:17:48,267
and then, I am coming at you

436
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:49,568
Iike an animal.

437
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,798
Oh, God. Is this a fight club?

438
00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:54,940
The pain proves we're alive.

439
00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:57,943
Aw, this is very disappointing.

440
00:17:57,943 --> 00:17:59,578
Come on, hit me.

441
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:00,779
Get a taste.

442
00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:02,081
I brought a roll of
quarters to hold

443
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,715
in my fist.

444
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:04,950
God, Jack was right.

445
00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:07,086
Oh, I have to get back to my show.

446
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,520
I need the show!

447
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:09,688
You want out, Liz?

448
00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:11,121
You're going to have
to fight your way out.

449
00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:15,127
As we celebrate the life
of Jenna Maroney...

450
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:17,229
The Coast Guard won't officially
declare her dead yet.

451
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:19,731
But what the pirates did to that boat...

452
00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:22,632
Well, it's a very generous
offer. We'll be in touch.

453
00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:25,204
Jenna, what the hell are you doing here?

454
00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:26,371
Shh, they're talking about me.

455
00:18:26,371 --> 00:18:28,140
I'm really better today.

456
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:29,641
So's the laundry...

457
00:18:29,641 --> 00:18:30,976
thanks to Cling Free.

458
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,547
That was some of Jenna Maroney's
earlier work.

459
00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:38,250
It's hard to believe that both
of those women outlived her,

460
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:42,054
especially the woman on the
right. We'll be right back.

461
00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:45,657
A couple of gay guys are crying.

462
00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:47,292
Oh, Jack, this is just
the greatest night of my...

463
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,919
What the hell is that?!

464
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:51,563
It's you. What's the problem?

465
00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:54,133
It has the year I was born on it...

466
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,601
the real year,

467
00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:56,602
not the actress year.

468
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:58,237
Now, almost a million people are

469
00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:00,772
going to know that I'm f... f...

470
00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:02,341
It's too late to change it, Jack.

471
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,143
Jenna, calm down.

472
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,277
I'm selling the movie in the
next 12 hours, your movie.

473
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:08,113
Think about what matters here.

474
00:19:08,113 --> 00:19:11,316
In five, four, three...

475
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,285
And, finally, tonight...

476
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:16,054
what more fitting way to say
good-bye to our friend

477
00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:19,758
than with the gift she gave
all of us, her music.

478
00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:21,560
Ladies and gentlemen...

479
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:25,631
Itzhak Bemelmans and
the Tracy Jordan dancers.

480
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:33,172
Give me a microphone!

481
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,873


482
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:39,545


483
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:42,548


484
00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:44,983
Still alive, not yet 32.
Sorry, Jack, worth it!

485
00:19:44,983 --> 00:19:47,586
I'm back.

486
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,955
What did it turn out to be? Lesbians?

487
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:53,625
No, fight club.

488
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:56,929

but I'm just here to dance?

489
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,198
This is a disaster.

490
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,366
What is wrong
with you two?

491
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,402
You guys mess up everything you touch

492
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:05,837
and then, I have to come
in here and fix it.

493
00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:07,306
I am so mad!

494
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:08,295
Why are you smiling?

495
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,209
You're freaking me out!

496
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,710
Aw, you two troublemakers.

497
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,045
Come here!

498
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,546
She's gonna do something to us!

499
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,605
You're crazy!

500
00:20:26,024 --> 00:20:28,117
I'm back, nerds!

501
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:33,065


502
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,833


503
00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:38,503

that, but I just wanna dance?

504
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:42,074

my sugar-coated berry lips?

505
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,842


506
00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:45,844


507
00:20:45,844 --> 00:20:49,481


508
00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:53,252


509
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,087


510
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,855


511
00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:58,657


512
00:20:58,657 --> 00:21:00,626


513
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:02,361


514
00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:04,829


515
00:21:04,879 --> 00:21:09,429
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